The Blame Game

Affirmation: I am resilient. I choose to move from blaming to responsibility.

Cultivate Authenticity. Let go of what other people think.

Excerpt from Mastering the Seven Decisions: Understanding the Keys to Personal Success, by Andy Andrews

Pg4&5

Where I am today we tell ourselves, is a consequence of what other people (our parents, for example) and circumstances have done to me. And by blaming other people and events, we weaken our power. We argue,  “it’s not my fault…” As soon as we subscribe to this line of thinking, our chances for any kind of success dramatically decline.

When I was at my all-time low – – homeless, living under a pier – – I remember somebody telling me, “Well, you chose this.” At first, that infuriated me. I remember thinking, I didn’t choose this. If my parents hadn’t died, if there had been more insurance, if someone had helped me, if only… 

The problem with this line of thinking is that if you don’t except responsibility for where you are right now, you have no hope of changing your future. I promise you: if it is the president’s fault, if it’s your neighbor’s fault, if it’s your spouse’s fault, if it’s the government’s fault, if it is the weather‘s fault, then you are truly stuck! What are you going to do about the president? What are you going to do about the weather? What can you do about your neighbor? I’ll tell you: nothing! But if you can find the answer to your problem in the mirror —if the solution lies within you – – well, there is boundless hope because you can start working on yourself today!

 Responsibility is about hope and control. You feel more hopeful when you spread this vastly different perspective about responsibility— you can control your future! Who among us doesn’t want a better future? The seven decisions can give you a better tomorrow by affecting the choices you make today.

 Your reckoning is important. You must come to the self realization that even though you couldn’t control any of the crazy things that have happened in your life, your choices in response to those things are what have leads you down the path that you don’t like.

We have the power to make choices that lead us to the places we do not like. And that’s great news! If we can make choices that lead us to the places we don’t like, then doesn’t it stand to reason that we are able to make choices that will lead us to the place that we do like? If where we are today is not in our control, then how can tomorrow’s fate be better? The game then, becomes simple: make better choices.

We make our own way. now that you can are completely aware of this, you can claim it, make the decision to take responsibility, and begin living the responsible decision; I am responsible for my past and my future.

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Take time today to think about your thinking...

Andrews suggests noticing your internal thoughts. What runs through your head on a regular basis?

"I am such a loser." "Of course, I messed it up." "Why me?" "Why am I so fat?"

Write down your unsupportive thoughts. Then cross each one out and restate it in a way that empowers you to reach your goal. This is why I have a daily affirmation. The affirmation keeps me going in a positive direction. 

Example:

"l'm such a loser." I messed up, but I am learning. Now I know that action won't work. I'll figure out another way to solve the problem.  

" Why me?"  Why not me...this is an opportunity to grow.