Jan 9

Affirmation:

~~~~~

Wholehearted Guidepost from Brené Brown

06. PART 1, LESSON 5: Cultivating Gratitude and Joy

BRENÉ'S INTENTION

When I met Oprah for the first time at our "Super Soul Sunday" taping, we immediately connected around the topic of gratitude. I remember being moved to tears when she looked at me and said, "I believe gratitude is the way home." I smiled and said, "Yes, and home is where joy lives."

This Lesson's Intention

"I will practice gratitude to access joy. I will stop and take notice of those small things that make my life better, the things that are easy to overlook until they are gone."

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GIFTS OF IMPERFECTIONS

Brene’ Brown

This study is based on the video ecourse done by Oprah Winfrey and Brene’ Brown in partnership.

Poole Jacqueline

BRENÉ'S INTENTION

This course is about learning to be wholehearted, which is to engage with the world from a place of worthiness. Together, we will go on the journey from "What will people think?" to "I am imperfect and I am enough." You've gathered your journal and art supplies, but now it's time to think about the other tools we need to bring along: courage, compassion and connection. If you're like me, you're thinking: "Dang. Those are big ideals—there's going to be a lot of luggage." They are big, but they're not ideals. They're daily practices that we carry in our hearts, in our heads and in that soulful place in between.

Why Should You Set an Intention?

For me, setting intentions is a power move. It's how I bring clarity, meaning and purpose to my day, my meetings, a conference call and even daily conversations. Setting intentions helps you get clear on why you're doing something (clarity), why it's important to you (meaning) and how it moves you closer to your values (purpose).

This Lesson's Intention

"I will carry courage, compassion and connection in my heart while on this journey. Even when the road is bumpy. Even when I'm so busy that I feel behind. Even though there is really no 'getting behind' in this course. And, especially when I start to compare and judge myself. Courage, compassion and connection will be my constant companions."

Part 1: Lesson 1 Courage, Compassion and Connection

PERMISSION SLIPS

What do you have to give yourself permission to do when you're doing something scary?

RECOMMENDED MATERIALS

A journal and watercolors, waterproof pens or markers, or whatever art materials you have on hand and want to use to decorate your journal.

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Get ready to create some art and join us on this wholehearted journey. Crack open your journal—don't be intimidated! Let go of perfection and get messy!

2. Skip the first page and save it for another assignment later in the course.

3. What do you have to give yourself permission to do when you're doing something scary? Draw permission slips in your journal or simply write them down as a list. I give myself permission to __________.

4. Decorate the page by using colored pens or markers and watercolors to create the permission slips or list.

Brené and Karen use the term "gouache" while painting. What is gouache? Well, it rhymes with squash and means "opaque watercolors."

BRENÉ'S READING ASSIGNMENTS

Brené will draw from her New York Times best-selling book The Gifts of Imperfection to assign reading that corresponds with each lesson.

Book: Introduction, Wholehearted Living, pages 1 through 6
E-book: Introduction, Wholehearted Living

Book: Courage, Compassion and Connection: The Gifts of Imperfection, pages 7 through 22
E-book: Courage, Compassion and Connection: The Gifts of Imperfection

Book: Exploring the Power of Love, Belonging and Being Enough, pages 23 through 30
E-book: Exploring the Power of Love, Belonging and Being Enough

Book: The Things That Get in the Way, pages 31 through 48
E-book: The Things That Get in the Way

EXCLUSIVE DOWNLOADS

Use these exclusive inspirational downloads to enhance your course experience and to remind you of your journey as you take part in this wholehearted revolution. Move your mouse over a card to download and/or share it on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest. Use the hashtag #OLCBreneCourse to share your posts for each lesson.

BRENE'S PERFECTION PLEDGE

"I'm imperfect and I'm enough."

RECOMMENDED MATERIALS

A photo of yourself (a selfie) with Brené's Perfection Pledge (instructions below), a dark marker, double-sided tape and colored pens or markers, watercolors or any other art supplies you have lying around your house, like stickers or cut-out pictures from magazines.

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Write "I'm imperfect & I'm enough" on your hand with a dark marker. You could also write it on a Post-it and stick it to your hand, or just write it directly in your journal!

2. Take a picture of yourself (a selfie), including your fully visible hand with the Perfection Pledge on it, using your camera phone or standard camera.

3. Print out your picture.

4. Open your journal and find two blank pages facing each other, one on the left and one on the right. Use double-sided tape to affix the photo in your journal on the left-hand page. Or, just write the phrase really big on a page of your journal as a reminder.

5. Decorate around your picture with stickers, colored pens or markers, watercolors or any other art supplies you have on hand.

Optional: When you're done with the activity, you could use this photo as your Facebook and Twitter profile picture as a reminder of the pledge--that you're imperfect and you're enough! Or, share your picture on Facebook and Twitter using the hashtag #OLCBreneCourse. COURAGE IS A HEART WORD

Share the story of who you are with all your heart!

RECOMMENDED MATERIALS

Waterproof pens or markers, a little envelope [whether you have one on hand or you create one yourself (instructions below)] €”and any other art supplies you have lying around, like ink stamps or stickers.

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Share the story of who you are with all your heart! Draw a picture of a heart to the right of your Perfection Pledge picture, on the right-hand page of your journal. Decorate your heart with watercolors or colored pens and markers.

2. Option 1: In the center of the heart, write down the names of the people who have earned the right to hear your story and €”the people whose opinions matter most to you.

3. Option 2: Get creative! You can also use a little envelope, or create a pocket or peekaboo card, and use double-sided tape to place it in your journal in the center of the heart. Cut out a small piece of paper, write down the names and place it in the pocket, or write the names on your peekaboo card.

4. Write "Courage is a heart word" around the heart or anywhere on the page.

Optional: Share a picture of your journal or your art space on the class Social Stream by posting it on Twitter or Instagram using the hashtag #OLCBreneCourse. (The Social Stream can be found at the bottom of the page for each lesson.)

DIG Deep

At the end of each lesson, Brené guides you to wholeheartedness and puts the lesson into practice by helping you to DIG Deep. Reflect on how to apply this lesson to your life using thought-provoking questions to help you Get Deliberate, Get Inspired and Get Going. Write your answers in your journal, talk them over with friends or family, and spark a discussion.

GET DELIBERATE

If you're like me, taking time to fully engage with this course sounds great but totally unrealistic. We can, however, get deliberate about carving out time every week for the class. It's about making a commitment to self-care and healing more than making a commitment to a course. What are you willing to do to create that time?

GET INSPIRED

Sometimes the best inspiration is support. We get so excited about a new idea or new possibilities that the first bump in the road can send us running back to "the old ways." During these bumpy times, it's powerful to have someone to turn to and say, "Giving up sounds awesome right now!" Or, "I'm not sure this is going to work." A supportive person can inspire us to stay on our path by simply reminding us that it's supposed to get bumpy. They can share their own stories and experiences. Can you get inspired to share your journal with a friend or family member? Is there another way that you can stay inspired?

GET GOING

One way I get going is by leaving art supplies out. I need to be reminded about the commitment that I made to myself (not the class). When I put things away, it's easier for me to forget (or pretend to forget). What about you?

Part 1 Lesson 2 Cultivating Authenticity

As you read the definition of authenticity in the chapter for this lesson, you'll see that the real heart of the work is practicing the courage to be imperfect, to set boundaries and to allow ourselves to be vulnerable. So many of us were raised to believe that being vulnerable and/or imperfect was being weak and that setting boundaries is selfish and a sign that we can't handle what's on our plates. In this lesson, we start to challenge those beliefs.'

This Lesson's Intention

"I am never more courageous than when I'm embracing imperfection, embracing vulnerabilities and setting boundaries with the people in my life."

BRENÉ'S READING ASSIGNMENTS

Brené will draw from her New York Times best-selling book The Gifts of Imperfection to assign reading that corresponds with each lesson.

Book: Guidepost 1, Cultivating Authenticity, pages 49 through 54

E-book: Guidepost 1, Cultivating Authenticity

AUTHENTICITY EXERCISE

RECOMMENDED MATERIALS

Find a picture of yourself that captures your authentic self one that conveys a sense of who you are. Maybe it's a childhood photo of you before you learned to please, perfect and perform. Maybe it's a snapshot you took last week that encapsulates everything about you that is true and real. Your choice!

INSTRUCTIONS

Allow yourself time little bit more than you might expect €”to find the right picture for this exercise.

Start by picking out three or four photographs that have an emotional resonance with you. Don't just select ones in which you like the way you look (or ones that other people admire). Instead, choose images that capture the part of you that you love.

Which of these images reveal your essence? That's the photo you'll want to use for the art-j

ournal assignment as described tomorrow.

DIG Deep

GET DELIBERATE

In The Gifts of Imperfection, I share my own authenticity mantra: "Don't shrink. Don't puff up. Stand your sacred ground." Develop your own authenticity mantra and tell us how you're using it to stay deliberate in your authenticity practice.

GET INSPIRED

Is there a song, quote, meditation or prayer that inspires you to practice authenticity to be who you are rather than what people want you to be?

GET GOING

When people are asking me to do something, my boundaries mantra is "Choose discomfort over resentment," which means choosing one minute of discomfort from saying no rather than six months of resentment from saying yes. If we want to practice authenticity, we can expect discomfort. Setting boundaries and taking care of ourselves are two of the most important opportunities to put what we're learning into practice.

Part 1 Lesson 3 Cultivating Self-Compassion

SELF-COMPASSION ACTIVITY

BRENÉ'S INTENTION

When I see my children make mistakes or accidents, I'm quick to jump in and say: "Hey, you're human. It's okay. I love you and we'll figure this out." When I make a mistake, I'm quick to jump in and say: "You idiot! What were you thinking? You really screwed this up."

This Lesson's Intention

"I will talk to myself the same way I talk to the people I love."

Is it hard? Yes. Will you feel weird/silly/like an imposter in your own head? Yes. Is it important? YES! It's how we reclaim our self-worth. Will we forget? Yes. Just jump back in there, apologize to yourself and try again. When self-compassion becomes our first response, we transform ourselves, our families and the people around us.

In this video, Brené shares her insights and personal stories about letting go of perfectionism and embracing self-compassion, and she defines what perfectionism is and what it isn't.

BRENÉ'S READING ASSIGNMENTS

Brené will draw from her New York Times best-selling book The Gifts of Imperfection to assign reading that corresponds with each lesson.

Book: Guidepost 2, Cultivating Self-Compassion, pages 55 through 62

E-book: Guidepost 2, Cultivating Self-Compassion

RECOMMENDED MATERIALS

Two pictures (as described in the instructions below), double-sided tape and colored pens or markers, watercolors or any other art supplies you would like to use to decorate your pages.

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Find two pictures or memories of times when you could have used some compassionâ€”times when you were struggling or had feelings of being alone or "not enough." If you do not have old photos, you can also use pictures or images (from a magazine, the Web or other personal photos) that represent the times on which you would like to reflect with your younger self.

2. Open your journal and on facing pages affix each photo to its own page using double-sided tape.

3. For each photo, think about what kind, loving and compassionate reassurance you would go back and whisper to yourself. Write down a self-compassion caption next to each picture.

4. Decorate your page using your art supplies.

Think about why you're going back in time to talk to your younger self and how giving your younger self advice can change you today.

Optional: When you're done with this activity, you could take pictures of your journal pages and share them on Twitter and Instagram using the hashtag #OLCBreneCourse.

COMPASSION WHISPERS

The self-compassion activity you worked on above is not a one time journal exercise. We're trying to permanently change the way we talk to ourselves and the way we think about ourselves now.

In this activity, you will compile a list of "compassionate whispers" to yourself and write them down in your journal.

RECOMMENDED MATERIALS

Colored pens or markers, watercolors or any other art supplies you would like to use.

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Start compiling a list of "compassionate whispers" to yourself. As you move forward, your whispers may change. Figure out what messages you need to hear when you need to hear them. What are those little things you tell yourself that make a really big difference?

2. Write down your list in your journal and decorate the page. As you go through the course, you can come back to this page and add to it.

3. Revisit Guidepost 2 on page 55 of The Gifts of Imperfection; then come back and look at the artwork. Jump back and forth between these things.

If you're struggling with this exercise, ask yourself: "What would I say to my child or to a dear friend? I deserve that comfort, support, encouragement and love too."

Optional: When you're done with this activity, you could take pictures of your journal pages and share them on Twitter and Instagram using the hashtag #OLCBreneCourse.

DIG Deep

GET DELIBERATE

One tool that has helped me get deliberate about my self-compassion is the Self-Compassion Scale developed by Dr. Kristin Neff, a researcher and professor at the University of Texas at Austin. It's a short test that measures the elements of self-compassion (self-kindness, common humanity and mindfulness) and the things that get in the way (self-judgment, isolation and overidentification). The scale helped me to realize that I do really well in terms of common humanity and mindfulness but that self-kindness needs my constant attention. The Self-Compassion Scale and other wonderful information are available on Dr. Neff's website, http://self-compassion.org. Complete the scale. What did you learn about yourself?

GET INSPIRED

Is there a song, quote, reflection or prayer that inspires you to put down the perfectionism shield and practice self-love? I love Alicia Keys' song "Girl on Fire." Sometimes when I'm in those deep, dark shame self-talk moments, playing a song and dancing around the kitchen while singing into a spatula (yes, I really do that) is the perfect life raft.

GET GOING

Recently, when I was going through a particularly difficult time with my work, I made a habit of waking up and saying: "Okay, Brene. I've got your back." It was just a little reassurance for me, from me. Before your feet hit the floor in the morning, what's something you could say to yourself that puts that self-compassion in gear for the day?

Part 1 Lesson 4 Cultivating a Resilient Spirit

BRENÉ'S INTENTION

You would think that doing all this research and writing these books would be enough to set me straight on the numbing. Clearly, that isn't the case. I recently realized that when I'm totally overwhelmed, afraid or feeling super vulnerable, I can slip into a very dark place. As I was working on my collage for this lesson, I recognized a dangerous pattern:

1. I don't like how I feel so I numb.

2. Numbing the pain numbs the joy.

3. I feel like I have no joy in my life so I numb some more.

4. Only when I let myself feel the struggle do I open myself up to feeling the joy. And feeling both of these gives me the courage and strength to make changes and feel whole.

5. Feeling the struggle gives me the courage to change what's happening and practice gratitude for what's going well (even if I have to look hard for it).

6. Feeling the joy gives me the strength and perspective to move forward, out of the dark.

This Lesson's Intention

"I will stay mindful of numbing. I will remember that when I 'take the edge off' pain or stress, I take away my own joy. We can't selectively numb emotion, and I want more joy, meaning and purpose."

BRENÉ'S READING ASSIGNMENTS

Brené will draw from her New York Times best-selling book The Gifts of Imperfection to assign reading that corresponds with each lesson. This lesson's reading assignment:

Book: Guidepost 3, Cultivating a Resilient Spirit: Letting Go of Numbing and Powerlessness, pages 63 through 76

E-book: Guidepost 3, Cultivating a Resilient Spirit: Letting Go of Numbing and Powerlessness

GET REAL ABOUT NUMBING

Most of us numb to "take the edge off" vulnerability, pain and discomfort. When we stop numbing and those sharp edges come back into our lives, we see how leaning into the discomfort of vulnerability teaches us how to live with joy, gratitude and grace.

INSTRUCTIONS

1. We can't selectively numb just the bad and feel the joy at the same time. Think about the things you use to numb yourself when you're feeling pain or sadness.

2. Before working on your journal in the exercise below, think about these questions:

What leads us to numbing?
How do we numb?
What's the difference between numbing and comfort?
What actually brings us comfort?

LETTING GO OF NUMBING

When we're totally overwhelmed, afraid or feeling super vulnerable, it's easy to slip into a very dark place. For this lesson's exercise, we'll come to terms with why and how we numb, and come up with a list of things that bring us joy instead.

RECOMMENDED MATERIALS

Your journal, magazines, scissors, double-sided tape (or soft gel matte or white glue) and colored pens or markers, watercolors or any other art supplies you've got.

INSTRUCTIONS

1. In your journal, create a collage of what drives you to numb. Cut out magazine pictures and words that capture the feelings, experiences and/or situations that drive you to numb. Use double-sided tape, soft gel matte or white glue to affix them to the page. If you can't find pictures that represent your thoughts, write them out with colored pens or markers. Decorate around your picture with your art supplies.

2. Then, do the same to create a collage of what you use to numb.

3. Finally, create a third collage of what truly brings you comfort. What refuels you?

4. Reflect on the three pages you created and make a "comfort wisdom" list. Write down all the things that truly take you to a place of joy. Decorate around your list with your art supplies. Use this list during a time of struggle to remind you of the choices and activities that really lift your spirit and bring you back into your power.

5. Take a picture of your "comfort wisdom" list, print it out and hang it in an area where you'll see it often.

DIG Deep

GET DELIBERATE

Make a copy of your "comfort wisdom" page and hang it where you need it. I have one copy in the pantry, one over my desk and one on my bathroom mirror. Sometimes, our urge to numb comes from the part of our brain that doesn't stop to think, analyze and reflect. A physical reminder between us and those numbing agents can stop the numbing before it starts. It wakes us up and gives us the opportunity to make a choice.

GET INSPIRED

Sometimes a quick quote, photo or decoration can remind you to lean into the dark to find the light. I literally have twinkle lights all over my study. Is there something you put out to inspire you?

GET GOING

Share your "comfort wisdom" list with a friend, partner or family member. Choose someone you trust and who is willing to say: "You're struggling. Are you getting enough __________?"

06. PART 1, LESSON 5: Cultivating Gratitude and Joy

BRENÉ'S INTENTION

This Lesson's Intention

"I will practice gratitude to access joy. I will stop and take notice of those small things that make my life better, the things that are easy to overlook until they are gone."

BRENÉ'S READING ASSIGNMENT

Brené will draw from her New York Times best-selling book The Gifts of Imperfection to assign reading that corresponds with each lesson.

Book: Guidepost 4, Cultivating Gratitude and Joy, pages 77 through 86

E-book: Guidepost 4, Cultivating Gratitude and Joy

START YOUR DAILY GRATITUDE PRACTICE

In this video, Brené outlines the difference between feeling grateful and actually practicing gratitude. It's during our darkest times when we don't feel gratitude that practicing it makes the difference.

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Having joyful experiences is not what makes us grateful. Recognize that it's the opposite: Practicing gratitude leads to joyful experiences.

2. During your typical day, STOP. Become aware of the ordinary moments or everyday rituals that bring you joy. Write them down on slips of paper as they happen. This will help you prepare for the journal exercise as described in the next video.

3. By acknowledging the ordinary moments or the "little things," you will gain perspective and resilience to build your joy reserves. Collect these moments with intention.

ORDINARY-MOMENTS SCAVENGER HUNT

What's the normal stuff you would miss if it weren't there? It may be a ritual like your morning coffee or ordinary moments that you share with your family or the little things that bring you joy. You're going to capture them in this exercise.

RECOMMENDED MATERIALS

Camera (or phone camera), printer, your journal and art supplies.

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Spend a couple of days snapping photos of the everyday, ordinary things you are grateful for in your life—the ones that are easy to overlook but that are the true sources of your daily joy.

2. Print the pictures and create a gratitude collage on two facing pages of your journal.

3. On, under or beside the pictures, write down your specific gratitude.

Optional: When you're done with this activity, you could take pictures of your journal pages and share them on Twitter and Instagram using the hashtag #OLCBreneCourse.

DIG Deep

GET DELIBERATE

If there's one thing that was crystal clear in the research, it's the need to practice gratitude. This is a powerful time to start your practice. Maybe you want to start a gratitude journal or decorate a Mason jar and fill that jar with "gratitudes" that you write on small pieces of paper. You could include it in your tuck-in routine with your kids or pick one time a day that you say what you're grateful for aloud.

GET INSPIRED

I find the best inspiration in giving and reaching out. Send an email or a handwritten note to someone that simply says, "Thank you for ____________________ (please be specific)," and tell that person why it meant so much to you. (I even start meetings this way sometimes.)

GET GOING

Several years ago, at the end of a very difficult day, I thought to myself, "I don't feel grateful at all!" My son was sick, one of my parents had just been diagnosed with cancer, and I was completely overwhelmed with work. I literally said this aloud standing alone in my kitchen: "Screw feeling grateful." The second it passed over my lips, I recognized my mistake. The research participants didn't talk about "feeling grateful"; they all "practiced gratitude." There's a big difference between feeling and practicing. Sometimes when we're wading through tough (and very real) challenges, we don't feel grateful. But that shouldn't stop us from practicing gratitude. I stopped right that minute, drew a deep breath and said, "I'm grateful that I'm home and that the pizza place delivers." It didn't cure my son or make the cancer go away, but it did remind me that there is always a spark of light even in the darkest of places. Sometimes, we just have to fan it a little to make it grow, and the best way to do that is with a little gratitude

07. PART 1, LESSON 6: Cultivating Intuition and Trusting Faith

BRENÉ'S INTENTION

I will hear myself above the noise. I will hear myself above the opinions of others. I will hear me. I will listen and I will hear me.

This Lesson's Intention

"I will hear me."

BRENÉ'S READING ASSIGNMENT

Brené will draw from her New York Times best-selling book The Gifts of Imperfection to assign reading that corresponds with each lesson.

Book: Guidepost 5, Cultivating Intuition and Trusting Faith, pages 87 through 92

E-book: Guidepost 5, Cultivating Intuition and Trusting Faith

CREATE YOUR MANTRA

When you can't get to your intuition, your mantra can get you back to being able to hear yourself. Your mantra is the megaphone for your intuition.

RECOMMENDED MATERIALS

A picture of yourself, double-sided tape and markers, watercolors or any other art supplies you would like to use to decorate your mantra page.

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Think of a mantra that rings true to you. Sit with it for a couple of days before you commit to it. Say it to yourself when you're facing uncertaintyâ€”does it feel like a soft place to land?

2. Go to the first page of your journal that you left blank at the beginning of the course and write down your mantra.

3. Adhere a picture of yourself to the page to remind you to be true to yourself.

4. Decorate the page with markers, watercolors or any other art supplies you have on hand, like pieces of scrapbook paper, stamps or stickers.

Optional: When you're done with this activity, you could take a picture of your journal page and share it on Twitter and Instagram using the hashtag #OLCBreneCourse. See what your classmates are sharing on the Social Stream below.

REFLECT ON YOUR GIFTS OF IMPERFECTION

In this video, Brené looks back on the first six lessons of the eCourse and shares her personal takeaways.

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Sit for a couple of days and think about which lesson has meant the most to you. Perhaps it was the mantra exercise. Or maybe it was the self-compassion activity. Recognize that it will be different for each individual; there is no right or wrong answer.

2. Know that you can make art that is meaningful to you but that doesn't have to be meaningful to anyone else. You don't need to show anybody yours to know it is important to you.

3. Acknowledge that your story matters because you matter.

GET DELIBERATE

Create some white space in your life. Put one hour of time a week on your calendar and protect it like you'd protect an important meeting or a doctor's appointment. Don't clean or work on your to-do list. Get quiet. If you feel like you're coming out of your skin, welcome to the club. It means we need more practice.

GET INSPIRED

Is there a book or song that inspires you to reconnect with your faith and/or intuition? Right now, I'm stuck on Loretta Lynn singing "How Great Thou Art."

GET GOING

Make a commitment to speak your mantra two times today or tomorrow. Pay attention to when, where and how you say it. When is it helpful? What does it do for you?

08. PART 2, LESSON 1: Cultivating Creativity

BRENÉ'S INTENTION

This course is about learning to be wholehearted, which means engaging with the world from a place of worthiness. We started our journey in Part 1, and now it is time to bring it home.

Why Should You Set an Intention?

For me, setting intentions is a power move. It's how I bring clarity, meaning and purpose to my day, my meetings, a conference call and even daily conversations. Setting intentions helps you get clear about why you're doing something (clarity), why it's important to you (meaning) and how it moves you closer to your values (purpose).

The intention for this lesson is declaring, "I am a creative being." I can already hear people saying, "Is it okay to fake it until we make it? What if we don't believe that we are really creative people?" Remember: An intention is a starting place, something to reflect on. You can ask yourself to become awake to the possibility of your intention and to begin practicing it. As long as we are creating, we are cultivating meaning, and that is an important part of living a wholehearted life.

This Lesson's Intention

"I am a creative being."

BRENÉ'S READING ASSIGNMENT

Brené will draw from her New York Times best-selling book The Gifts of Imperfection to assign reading that corresponds with each lesson.

Book: Guidepost 6, Cultivating Creativity, pages 93 through 97

E-book: Guidepost 6, Cultivating Creativity

PERMISSION SLIPS

As we learned in Part 1, permission slips are an important tool on your journey to wholeheartedness.

When you're doing something scary that you don't normally do, what do you have to give yourself permission to do?

RECOMMENDED MATERIALS

Your journal, some sticky notes, and permanent markers or a pencil.

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Open your journal to any page. Think about everything that is intimidating or scary to you right now about embarking on this course. What do you need to give yourself permission to do?

2. Complete the sentence "I give myself permission to ___________." Then, write it down on a sticky note. Use as many notes as you need and stick them in your journal.

3. Sometimes, giving ourselves permission to do something new, scary or differentâ€”or permission to take care of ourselves and make time when we don't believe time existsâ€”constitutes our boldest acts of courage. As you go through the class, revisit this page and write more permission slips as needed.

"I AM A CREATIVE BEING" SIGN & SELF PORTRAIT

Turn this lesson's intention €”"I am a creative being" €”into practice.

RECOMMENDED MATERIALS

Your journal; a piece of 8.5-by-11-inch printer paper; some markers, pencils or waterproof pens; gouache (opaque watercolors); watercolor brushes; and crayons.

INSTRUCTIONS

1. You may not believe our intention€ "I am a creative being" just yet, but the point of an intention is to make it a practice. Using a simple piece of white 8.5-by-11-inch printer paper, we will make an "I am a creative being" sign.

2. On your piece of paper, use pencil, marker or pen to write "I am a creative being" in very large letters, using the entire page. Use simple letters, bubble letters, cursive or cutoutsâ€”whatever feels right to you!

3. Decorate the page any way you like with gouache, normal watercolors, stickers or cutout images.

4. Hang up your sign somewhere you will see it every day (e.g., the kitchen, the car, the bathroom mirror) and leave it up for the duration of the eCourse.

5. Now, open up your journal to the very last page to create your "author photo" €”your self-portrait.

6. Use only crayons to create your self-portrait. Don't get hung up on it being perfect, only on it being authentic to you.

7. On the opposite page of your crayon "author photo," create an "About the Author" page. Write down three things you believe in.

Optional: When you're done with your self-portrait, you could use this photo as your Facebook and Twitter profile picture as a reminder that you are a creative being! Or, share your "I am a creative being" sign on Facebook and Twitter using the hashtag #OLCBreneCourse. For help in posting to social media, check out our FAQs.

HEALING OUR CREATIVE WOUNDS

We are encouraged to be creative as children, but then many of us start hearing messages that we're not good enough. How can we heal these creative wounds with positive messages?

RECOMMENDED MATERIALS

Your journal, permanent markers (different colors), Band-Aids and any other art supplies you'd like to use to decorate your page.

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Open your journal to a new page. Using a red permanent marker, write down all the negative messages about creativity you have heard in your life, both directly and from society in general.

2. Now, cover these messages with Band-Aids.

3. Using a permanent marker in a different color, write healing messages to yourself on top of the Band-Aids.

4. Use any other art supplies you'd like to decorate your page of creative, healing messages.

DIG Deep

GET DELIBERATE

Take the "I am a creative being" sign you made earlier and find a place to hang it where you will see it every day. You can even make copies and hang it wherever you need to be reminded that you are a creative being (e.g., your office cubicle, your car, your bathroom mirror).

GET INSPIRED

The definition of courage in this course is sharing your story with your whole heart. Feel free to take a photo of your "I am a creative being" sign and show us where you put it by posting it on Facebook or Twitter using the hashtag #OLCBreneCourse! You can also share with a supportive friend or family member anything else that inspired you this week: a valuable phrase from the lesson, creative work from your journal, or an inspiration from your everyday life.

GET GOING

In your journal, make a list of three to five creative endeavors you would like to try this year. It can be a ceramics class, taking up an instrument, trying a new recipe, or €”anything that fires up your creative side. I would like to learn the ukulele, take a kitchen knife skills class and make paintings.

09. PART 2, LESSON 2: Cultivating Play and Rest

BRENÉ'S INTENTION

This is not an easy guidepost for me, but I have found through my research that play and rest are as critical and important to wholehearted living as anything else. In some ways, they almost felt like biological imperatives. One of the quotes I came across that struck me in my heart was, "The opposite of play is not work; the opposite of play is depression." I think that's a bold statement. So this lesson's intention helps us think about our need for play and rest as something to be honored rather than something that is optional.

This Lesson's Intention

"I will honor the basic need for rest and play."

BRENÉ'S READING ASSIGNMENT

Brené will draw from her New York Times best-selling book The Gifts of Imperfection to assign reading that corresponds with each lesson.

Book: Guidepost 7, Cultivating Play and Rest, pages 99 through 104

E-book: Guidepost 7, Cultivating Play and Rest

MAKING A PLAYLIST

Make your own PLAYlist using Dr. Stuart Brown's seven properties of play. What kinds of activities truly feel like play to you?

RECOMMENDED MATERIALS

Your journal, a few good markers and any other art supplies you like (such as watercolors, crayons, stickers, stamps or cut-out shapes and glue).

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Review Dr. Stuart Brown's seven properties of play and think about what they mean to you. The properties of play are:

i. Apparently purposeless

ii. Voluntary

iii. Inherent attraction

iv. Freedom from time

v. Diminished consciousness of self

vi. Improvisational potential (As Dr. Brown says, "We aren't locked into a rigid way of doing things. We are open to serendipity, to chance.")

vii. Continuation desire (you want to do more of it)

2. Open your journal to two blank, facing pages. On one page, interpret these seven properties of play and write them in your own words. For example, for the third property, inherent attraction, Kelly Rae Roberts wrote, "delights the soul." For the fifth property, diminished consciousness of self, Brene wrote, "I'm free to be me."

3. Decorate this page however you like, with gouache, stickers, markers or cutout shapes.

4. On the facing page, write down five to 10 different activities that fulfill these properties of play for you. This might include walking outdoors, swimming, daydreaming, decorating, listening to music or even watching movie trailers!

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES

Play: How It Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul, by Stuart Brown, MD
A Whole New Mind: Why Right-Brainers Will Rule the Future, by Daniel H. Pink

DIG Deep

GET DELIBERATE

What brings joy and meaning into your life? One of the activities that has been transformative for me (and that I continue to do) was sitting down and creating a Joy and Meaning list with my family. We thought about all the great times we had together and wrote down the ingredients of what made us feel good about who we were and fostered our connection to one another. Now, it's your turn to create a Joy and Meaning list. I like to think about this as backing into a recipe. Think of two or three timesâ€”over the course of a day, a week or even a weekendâ€”when you felt grounded and joyful. What was happening? We're looking for four to six essential ingredients. Write them down in your journal.

GET INSPIRED

The definition of courage in this course is sharing your story with your whole heart. Feel free to share your Joy and Meaning list, your PLAYlist and/or your properties of play by posting them on Facebook or Twitter using the hashtag #OLCBreneCourse! You can also share with a supportive friend or family member anything else that inspired you this week: a valuable phrase from the lesson, creative work from your journal, or an inspiration from your everyday life.

GET GOING

I want you to play for 15 minutes this week. I really want you to try something from your PLAYlist, and I want you to stay mindful of the internal and external pushback. Journal prompt: What did you do? How did it feel? What were the gremlins saying? What are you up against? Remember that we can't get going until we know what's stopping us.

10. PART 2, LESSON 3: Cultivating Calm and Stillness

BRENÉ'S INTENTION

For me, anxiety can feel like a briar patch that will tear me to shreds if I don't put up a really thick shell. Anxiety is something we all feel; it's stress; it's work; it's sick kids. What I didn't realize, because it happened so slowly, was that anxiety was not something I was experiencing; it was something I was living. It had become a lifestyle. I realized that I didn't need to put up a defensive shell to cut off the worldâ€”I needed to stop living in the briar patch of anxiety by learning to cultivate a practice of calm and stillness.

This Lesson's Intention

"I want to heal with calm, so I will practice calm."

small things matter | breathing is believing | questions before answers

BRENÉ'S READING ASSIGNMENTS

Brené will draw from her New York Times best-selling book The Gifts of Imperfection to assign reading that corresponds with each lesson.

Book: Guidepost 8, Cultivating Calm and Stillness, pages 105 through 110

E-book: Guidepost 8, Cultivating Calm and Stillness

CREATE A CALM MAP

Select a photo that represents calm or stillness for you, and map out your calm practice. What kinds of environments and strategies help you cultivate a feeling of calm?

RECOMMENDED MATERIALS

Your journal, pens, pencils, markers, a camera and photo printer, or scissors for cutting out an image, old magazines, watercolors, and double-sided tape or glue.

INSTRUCTIONS

1. To begin our creative exercise for cultivating calm, stillness and letting go of anxiety as a lifestyle, find a picture (online, in your own photo albums or in a magazine) that represents calm or stillness for you. Print out that picture or cut out the image you found. Then, turn to a blank set of facing pages in your journal and tape your picture onto one side. You can also watercolor around your image or decorate your page any way you like.

2. In the margins around your image, answer the following question: What about your picture makes you think of calm and stillness? For example, your reason might be water, quiet and being outside. Determine the words that represent calm and stillness to you, and write them around your image.

3. On the facing page, you will create a "calm map." First, select a background decoration for your page. This could be an image of an old map, a collage or a picture that represents a journey toward calm. Feel free to decorate your page how you like, but make sure you can still write over it.

4. To get started on your map, it might help to think of a time when you were stressed out and what helped you to get calm again. On the bottom of your map, write a "map legend" or "foundation" for calm. What simple guidelines help you hold calm as a practice in your everyday life? For example, this might be cutting out caffeine, exercising, getting enough sleep and avoiding violent images.

5. Moving up your map, start to write out the core strategies that help you to decrease your anxiety and cultivate calm. Breathing and asking questions are important parts of Brené's practice. Add as many steps and strategies as needed.

6. Finally, write, "Repeat this practice, screw it up, circle back and start again" to complete the circle of your calm practice!

7. Remember, mapping out your calm practice is something you can continue to add to over time. Feel free to return to this map throughout the course.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES

The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate, by Harriet Lerner, PhD

DIG Deep

GET DELIBERATE

I want us to get deliberate around stillness. How do you create an emotional clearing in your life? In your journal, pick any page and write three things you could do on a daily basis to create tiny pockets of stillness, little pieces of clearing in your life. For me, this is listening to a special song each morning or not checking my phone when I have a quiet moment.

GET INSPIRED

The definition of courage in this course is sharing your story with your whole heart. Feel free to share your calm and stillness photo, your calm map and/or whatever has meant the most to you about this lesson by posting them on Facebook or Twitter using the hashtag #OLCBreneCourse! You can also share with a supportive friend or family member anything else that inspired you this week: a valuable phrase from the lesson, creative work from your journal, or an inspiration from your everyday life.

GET GOING

We're going to practice stillness and breathing for five minutes for five days. If you already do yoga or have a meditation practice, this will just be additional practice for you. If this is new for you (like it is for me), it will likely be uncomfortable, and we'll probably feel like posers. Let's breathe into it and see what happens. Write down your experiences in your journal.

11. PART 2, LESSON 4: Cultivating Meaningful Work

BRENÉ'S INTENTION

I don't know about you, but, externally and internally, I've got a lot of "supposed to" messages. Yet, what we need to do to cultivate meaningful work is to let go of "supposed to" and self-doubt. When I'm talking about meaningful work, I don't mean that you should quit your job. €”I'm talking about finding some time in your life for producing something that brings you meaning and perspective. I want to start by talking about our superpowers. What are those things we're really good at that we may not even recognize? And, what is our kryptonite that comes along with that?

This Lesson's Intention

"I will own my superpower."

BRENÉ'S READING ASSIGNMENT

Brené will draw from her New York Times best-selling book The Gifts of Imperfection to assign reading that corresponds with each lesson.

Book: Guidepost 9, Cultivating Meaningful Work, pages 111 through 116

E-book: Guidepost 9, Cultivating Meaningful Work

YOUR SUPERPOWER AND YOUR KRYPTONITE

One of the first steps on the journey to finding meaning and purpose in our lives and in our work is acknowledging what we do well. €”These are our superpowers. Of course, we also have to get clear on our kryptonite.

RECOMMENDED MATERIALS

Your journal and crayons, markers, watercolors, cutout shapes, double-sided tape or any other art materials you might want to use to decorate your pages.

INSTRUCTIONS

1. For this lesson'€™s creative assignment, we will identify our superpower as well as our kryptonite. Find two blank, facing pages in your journal and label the page on the left "Superpower." Then, label the page on the right "Kryptonite."

2. On the superpower page, think of a word or phrase that characterizes your superpower. Think about something you are really good at. Perhaps sometimes it has gotten you into trouble (especially as a child), but it is a quality that is deeply intrinsic to you, and it comes out in every aspect of your life. It is something you can't help, but it is also something that can be a very powerful force for meaning in your life.

3. On your kryptonite page, think of your superpower and your kryptonite as being two halves of the same coin. What is the aspect of yourself related to your superpower that does not always serve you well?

4. Finally, decorate both of these pages with any art materials you choose: photographs, paint, cutout shapes, stamps and/or drawings.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCE

One Person/Multiple Careers: A New Model for Work/Life Success , Marci Alboher
Outliers: The Story of Success, Malcolm Gladwell
The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho

DIG Deep

GET DELIBERATE

We've been using this phrase "meaningful work," but what's meaningful to me may not be meaningful to you, and what's meaningful to us may not be meaningful to others. So, to help get deliberate, I want you to pick three words and define meaningful work for yourself. You can write this anywhere in your journal, or you can write the words on a little cutout heart (like I did) and tuck it into your superpower page to remind you.

GET INSPIRED

The definition of courage in this course is sharing your story with your whole heart. Feel free to share your three words for "meaningful work," your superpower and/or your kryptonite by posting them on Facebook or Twitter using the hashtag #OLCBreneCourse! You can also share with a supportive friend or family member anything else that inspired you this week: a valuable phrase from the lesson, creative work from your journal, or an inspiration from your everyday life. (For tips on how to post a photo online, check out our FAQs .)

GET GOING

We're going to get going by thinking about this idea of the "slash career," Marci Alboher's term for people with multiple simultaneous careers (like the rabbi/rapper or accountant/jeweler). If you're not in a place in your life where you could just change careers completely (even if you wanted to), think about your dream "slash." Are you an accountant/jeweler, or a rabbi/rapper? Think of something that you can begin to work into your life, and don't be afraid to be a little unreasonable. Write down your dream slash(es) in your journal.

12. PART 2, LESSON 5: Cultivating Laughter, Song, and Dance

BRENÉ'S INTENTION

I call this the almost-didn't-make-it guidepost because at the beginning I wasn't sure a guidepost on singing and dancing should be part of this book. But here's the truth: As much as I didn't want to believe it, laughter, song and dance emerged in the data as important and vital to our wholeheartedness.

The hard part for a lot of us when it comes to embracing laughter, song and dance is that straightjacket of cool. When I was young, I had a loud laugh, and that was cute and great until about middle school. Then, all of the sudden, when I was criticized for being uncool, I got smaller. And by smaller, I mean quieter and more self-conscious, with more fear about how boldly I could really express myself. Cool had become my straightjacket, and I had to learn the hard way how to take it off. It was so worth it, because when we laugh, dance and sing together, we form community in a way that nothing else can. Laughter, song and dance are so powerful because they are how we communicate to each other that we're not alone.

This Lesson's Intention

"Cool is an emotional straightjacket. I am going to take it off."

BRENÉ'S READING ASSIGNMENTS

Brené will draw from her New York Times best-selling book The Gifts of Imperfection to assign reading that corresponds with each lesson.

Book: Guidepost 10, Cultivating Laughter, Song and Dance, pages 117 through 124

E-book: Guidepost 10, Cultivating Laughter, Song and Dance

YOUR AUTHENTICITY PLAYLIST

To encourage us to sing, dance and laugh, we are going to create our respective "authenticity playlists." The songs on your playlist may have deep meaning for you but also help you let go, have fun and get moving.

RECOMMENDED MATERIALS

Your journal and crayons, markers, watercolors, cutout shapes, double-sided tape and/or any other art materials you might want to use to decorate your pages.

INSTRUCTIONS

1. For this creative assignment, each of us will create an authenticity playlist of five songs as well as an album cover. Find two blank, facing pages in your journal. The page on the left will be your album cover, and the page on the right will be your playlist.

2. On the right page, create a list (numbered to five) or decorate your page with five cutout shapes. Label each with one of these five categories: (1) a song that lifts you up, (2) a song that you love to dance to, (3) a song you want to sing along to, (4) a song to get you through tough times and (5) a feisty song. Now, pick one song that authentically speaks to you for each category.

3. Don't be afraid to listen to them while you're doing this, €”and dance, sing and laugh a little!

4. On the left page, use photos, markers, paint, collage shapes, stamps and/or any other art supplies to create an album cover for your playlist.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES

Dancing in the Streets: A History of Collective Joy, by Barbara Ehrenreich

DIG Deep

GET DELIBERATE

In our culture today, it's really hard to let loose, to let go of being cool and in control, because we're afraid, and the shame gremlins come. So to get deliberate, find a page in your journal and write down two or three shame gremlins that start to whisper in your ear when you are trying to do something new involving laughter, song or dance. Sometimes, writing these unspoken things down gives power back to us so we can throw our hands up in the air and dance.

GET INSPIRED

The definition of courage in this course is sharing your story with your whole heart. Feel free to share the ways that you like to express yourself through laughter, song and dance. I want you to post your authenticity playlist, your album cover and/or other fun ways you like to let loose on Facebook or Twitter using the hashtag #OLCBreneCourse! You can also share with a supportive friend or family member anything else that inspired you this week: a valuable phrase from the lesson, creative work from your journal, or an inspiration from your everyday life. (For tips on how to post a photo online, check out our FAQs.)

GET GOING

The kitchen has always been the heart of the house for my family, and I always know how well the family is doing by how much dancing, laughing and singing is going on in there. Dance in the kitchen, even if it's putting on a great song and tapping your toe, or doing one twirl across the floor sock-footed. It doesn't matter; just dance and have fun! Journal prompt: How did it feel?

13. PART 2, LESSON 6: The Wholehearted Revolution

BRENÉ'S INTENTION

The intention for this lesson sums up everything we've been doing since we started: "My story matters because I matter." So many of you have put your hearts and souls into this class. You've carved out time where time did not exist, you've made room where there was no room, and you've left art supplies out on tables that were already cluttered with your busy lives. You have pushed through this because you have chosen to walk into your story and own it. In this world, choosing authenticity and worthiness is an absolute act of resistance. As you continue to embrace this in your lives, you will get pushback, and it will be scary and tough, but there is also excitement and pride in having the courage to live wholeheartedly.

This Lesson's Intention

"My story matters because I matter."

BRENÉ'S READING ASSIGNMENTS

Brené will draw from her New York Times best-selling book The Gifts of Imperfection to assign reading that corresponds with each lesson.

Book: Final Thoughts, pages 125 through 126

E-book: Final Thoughts

MY WHOLEHEARTED LIFE

By this point in our work together, it's clear that almost everything we're trying to cultivate is a practice. And practice means learning, failing and embracing the reality of two steps forward and three steps back. It also means feeling like an imposter, getting frustrated, falling into comparison and wanting to give up. The creative assignment for this lesson is to prepare for the ups and downs of practice.

RECOMMENDED MATERIALS

Your journal and crayons, markers, watercolors, cutout shapes, double-sided tape and/or any other art materials you might want to use to decorate your pages.

INSTRUCTIONS

1. In this assignment, we will define the commitments we need to make to our wholehearted lives moving forward. Turn back to the first page in your journal, next to your permission slips, or any page you like, and label the page "My Wholehearted Life."

2. Now, at the bottom of the page, write down three commitments you will keep. Will you commit to the "stay awake" prompts? Will you ask for support from your friends? Will you keep dancing and playing? Decorate your list any way you like using cutout shapes, stamps, paint and/or other art supplies.

3. Somewhere else on the page, identify your "watch outs": a few things that you will make sure to give extra focus and attention to. What do you need to keep an eye on? Are play and rest still really difficult for you, or finding time to be still? Write down two to three practices you still need to work on and watch out for.

DIG Deep

GET DELIBERATE

To get deliberate, I want you to take your journal back out and turn to this lesson's creative assignment, "My Wholehearted Life." Out of all the commitments and "watch outs" you identified, I want you to pick one thing that you really, really want to focus on one single thing that you will keep at the top of your mind as you move on from this class. I have been doing this work for a long time, and every time I have seen someone take a single thing and get super intentional and deliberate about it, it has had a sweeping effect on everything else. With this in mind, write this one major focus down clearly in your journal.

GET INSPIRED

This lesson's intention is "My story matters because I matter." Share your page of commitments by posting it on Facebook or Twitter using the hashtag #OLCBreneCourse! It will mean so much for us to see what your wholehearted integration looks like and what you are going to focus on when you leave this course. You can also share with a supportive friend or family member anything else that inspired you this week: a valuable phrase from the lesson, creative work from your journal, or an inspiration from your everyday life. (For tips on how to post a photo online, check out our FAQs.)

GET GOING

The most meaningful and difficult part of this work is integrating it into our lives. To do that, I want you to do something really hard: I want you to share your journey with a single person outside this class. This could be a partner, a friend or sibling, a co-worker, or a therapist, and I want you to share the most important thing you've learned in doing the eCourse, and one thing you would like support with. Here is a simple conversation starter: "I just finished this eCourse on wholehearted living. The most important thing I learned was ________, and moving forward, I'd really love support around _________." If you aren't in a relationship with someone with whom you can share, that's a wonderful place to start. Is there someone with whom you would like to build a relationship that would support this kind of sharing?

Stay Awake

How do we continue our wholehearted journey and stay conscious once the course ends?

Download Brené's journal prompts to help you stay awake!